Monday, December 16, 2013

what perk?

Today I read on Facebook that a guy I met online (and saw once) is engaged. Granted, we did not click in any way, nor was he even close to being my type... but really?!

My best friend of 13 years is also engaged. I am stoked for her, but she has spent our entire friendship trying to convince me that no one is meant to be monogamous. So... really?!

I have one sister who is twice married & divorced, another that is still married. I have friends that have been married two or more times! Really?!

I've never even been engaged. Hell I've never even had a relationship based on REAL love! Fuck, let's face it... I can't even get a DATE!!! Yet here all these people are... doing what I want to do. Getting what I want. Wearing pretty rings and shit.

Will it ever happen for me? Any of it?

Who's going to sit in a rocking chair with me and reminisce about how gas only cost us $3 per gallon 'back in the day'?
Who will push my wheelchair, comb my long grey hair, and trim my old toe nails? Who's gonna pick out my urn and tell stories about me? Won't I get the senior discount at the early bird special with my sweetheart? Won't I have the door held for me as I pass thru with my walker?

Won't I get any of those perks??

Will I ever have an anniversary? Certainly not a silver one.. or a gold. What about paper?

This is bullshit! This is a conspiracy, I just know it. I'm being Punked, right?!! Candid Camera?  The Twilight Zone??

I'm over this. Totally over it! So fuck it! I'm going to go put my hair in pigtails, dance around my house naked eating chocolate listening to Taylor Swift.

I suppose that's the perk of being single...

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