Friday, November 8, 2013

The Disney Effect

As young girls, we get an idea embedded deep within us that says we have to have the life of a fairy princess. Someone to rescue us, deliver us, fight, work, and yearn for us. You know, the "find your mate and procreate" idea. The big wedding, the new house, the 3 kids. You know.. "every girl's dream". But there are some of us that are totally not buying that shit. We know, for fact, that life is not that easily tied up into a bow with a side of cupcakes, flowers, and perfection. It just ain't the truth.

Take me, for instance. I have been single for 10 years. Ten (10) whole years. Okay, yes... there were men here and there but no one significant. I am going to turn 41 years old in less than a month. I have no children and live in a house by myself. But... I am perfectly happy. I have a sweet dog, super fun-tastic, amazing friends and family. I have a successful career, I make good money, and I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Freedom. Independence.

So... why the hell do I have this nagging feeling that I need to have more, be more, want more? And I am not talking about the "more" that I really want more of. I'm talking "more" of what they want me to want. Okay so let's say I want to be a writer - full time, I'd like to have some romance in my life, I'd like to travel more.. blah blah blah. They want me to have kids, settle down, buy a house, & get married. Here is where my confusion sits: Who the fuck are "they"???

Tell me, someone.. anyone.. please. Who are "they"? "They" ain't my friends, my family. Not my co-workers, business acquaintances, neighbors. It's not me, either... so who the heck are these unseen forces putting this pressure on me? Good question, huh?

Maybe it is Walt Disney's fault. All those stories of true love, forever love. The ride-off-into-the-sunset love. No one knows what happened after that ride. Did Snow White really live happily ever after with the prince? Did they have kids? Did they settle down in a big, new castle forever and ever? They never once fought? Never even a slight disagreement? They had crazy good sex, all the money in the world, and only had eyes for each other? Forever?? And ever???

SMU (Sounds Made Up)

I am soooo rolling my eyes right now. I am just exhausted from the pressure. No, wait...I am exhausted from trying to find the root of the so-called pressure from the unseen world...the son of a bitch that implanted that seed in my brain that I have to find a charming rescuer and live ever-after with in a perfect lil bubble of joy and butterflies. That I must be this certain mold of a certain proto-typed princess that lives behind a white picket fence because it's time.. Time.

That seed... that planted seed is evil! It's counter-productive and idiotic! There is absolutely nothing wrong with NOT being married. NOT having the lil family and soccer fields, and PTA meetings and anniversaries, and family vacations. There is nothing wrong with being single, and happy and free. Free to laugh and play and make choices and try new things.

So guess what! "They" don't matter to me anymore. "They" don't even exist! And guess what else! I am perfectly imperfect in every way, and I am okay, OKAY? I am single, childless, successful, happy, loved, and admired. I'm a sister. A lover. A joker. A leader. A friend. A blank slate with infinite room for the things that I want. I... Me.

"They" can go fuck themselves. :)